By now, you’ve had your fair share of negative people in your life.
I’d bet my money on it– you deal with more negative people than anyone you know!
Am I right? If so, can you guess why?
Well, because you have big ambitions for your life. You want to create a business that matters. One that makes a difference in peoples’ lives.
You want to create a lifestyle that gives you the kind of freedom that other people only dream of. You want to be able to do what you want, when you want and how you want.
And because you have a life vision beyond what others can imagine bringing to reality for themselves, it often brings out negativity in even the best people. And you know what the worst part is…
Most of the time, these negative people aren’t just random people you can just cut off in a blink of an eye! They are people that you love and care about. They are often your family and friends. It could be your sister, father, mother-in-law or partner.
This quote helped me further understand why our family and friends can be such a pain when we’re striving for our big life goals.
“The problem with friends and family is that they know us as we are.
They are invested in maintaining us as we are.”
– Steven Pressfield
Since many of us spend most of our time with family and friends, there’s no denying that they can be our worst enemies. I’ve had many situations in my life where people close to me didn’t support the kind of life I wanted to create.
No matter who’s negativity you’re constantly battling, you have an obligation to protect the bigger vision for your business and life. If you’re like me and can’t stand negative energy, it’s important that you know how to deal with negative people.
The goal here is to minimize the effects of having close relationships with people who either don’t support you or don’t believe in you.
As you reach new levels of success in your life, the more important it is to surround yourself with people who support, motivate and hold you accountable. The path you’re on, one with a mission and purpose takes courage, making it that much more important to be more strategic about who you converse with.
One conversation or a small comments overtime from a person who’s chronically negative will take a toll on you. I love this quote:
People will kill you over time, and how they’ll kill you is with tiny, harmless phrases, like “be realistic.”
-Dylan Moran
Even if someone doesn’t explicitly say, “be realistic”, they may say other very subtle phrases that can be harmful and discouraging. Your subconscious mind is like a sponge and it soaks up the good and the bad.
It doesn’t take but a short conversation to stir up doubt, fear and uncertainty in what you’re doing. It’s time you start being more selective with who you share details about your life with.
Use these three simple strategies to minimize the stress and emotional drama that you feel when you have people in your life that don’t support you. I’ve used these strategies myself and they’re PERFECT if you’re not quite ready to cut ties completely (which I’ve also had the pleasure of doing in my life).
1. Do Less Talking and Take More Action
Have you noticed that people who don’t truly support you will always want to know how things are going? I found that the best way to handle these types of situations is to simply do less talking. You can tell them that things are moving along and going great. If you tell them everything, you open yourself up to potential negativity. Instead of talking so much, you can choose to take more action, increasing your chances of getting results that support your vision. Eventually, you won’t have to talk so much, people will begin to see it.
2. Stop Trying to Convince People
Chances are that not everyone around you is going to truly believe in your vision or mission. And that’s perfectly OK. One mindset I adopted during the early stages of my business was to let go of the expectation that people should understand what I was doing. From my experience, as much as they want to understand, most won’t. Success is a very personal journey so just because they don’t understand your goals doesn’t mean they aren’t worthy.
When someone doesn’t understand what you’re working towards and you try to convince them, it can make the situation worse. If someone is stuck in their ways and doesn’t support you, explaining yourself and convincing them that your ideas are good enough can be so draining. Doing this is damaging to you because you’re always on the defensive and that’s not where you want to be. If someone doesn’t believe in your vision, don’t take it personal. Know that everyone has different views, values and beliefs.
3. Don’t Bring it Up
This one is a hard one because you can get so excited about your plans and want to tell everyone closest to you, but when those people aren’t supportive, it’s damaging. There was a time in my life where I would get so inspired and wanted to tell everyone my ideas and I wouldn’t get the response that I wanted. It made me feel like my ideas weren’t good enough to implement.
If you’re going to talk about your goals and plans, make sure to talk to people who truly support you and will encourage you to keep going. If you know in your heart that someone doesn’t support you, just don’t bring it up.
I have established a zero tolerance policy for Negative Nancys and Debbie Downers but it wasn’t easy. In the last few years, I’ve made some very difficult, but important decisions when it came to who I spent my time with.
Developing healthy relationships are vital when you’re on a path that looks anything different than the mainstream definition of “success”. In the end, spending less time with people who don’t support you and creating an extended family or new friends will be worth it.
With Love,
Noelle
